adventures in officemagicland

This morning I went downstairs and asked our department's payroll office-lady where my paycheck could possibly have got to. I explained that last time direct deposit broke, payroll had mistakenly sent some other materials of mine to my previous job, and I feared that that had been the case this week as well. I knew that direct deposit had failed to work for some graduate students. She asked, "Don't you have direct deposit?" Yes, I do. But it hasn't done its thing. Also there's no check in my mailbox, and could she please look up where they sent it? "Well, it looks like they sent it to the administrative office of the place you used to work." But where is that? They've restructured since then. Also, can she change my payroll information so this stopps happening? I don't have permission in the computer. "I don't know how to do that in the new system." No 'I'll figure it out,' no 'sorry,' just she doesn't know how.

I call Old Job's office, and some of them remember me. They tell me where their paychecks go these days, and I walk over there. An office-lady asks me my name, and says, "You're not on my list." Of course I'm not on your list, I don't work for this department. "What department do you work in? Why don't you go over there?" Because my office address is wrong in the payroll computer, and whenever direct deposit breaks they send my stuff to you. "Have you checked with your bank?" Yes. My bank knows how to use its computers. Finally she understands what I want and asks me my name again. She looks in a box which does not contain my paycheck. "Oh, I must have forwarded it back to the business office. It might not be there yet, though, because of the holiday."

I go back to my desk and call the business office. They do not understand why I am calling, so I explain three more times. Then: "No, it's not here. Have you checked with your department?" It was forwarded to you. It's probably still in campus mail. I'll call back tomorrow. "Oh, then you should probably call back tomorrow."

What bothers me is not so much having to run around doing the administration's job, it's the excuse they repeatedly gave for not knowing what to do: "We have new software. We don't know how to use it. It's the same software that was new three months ago and caused you to get paid a month late and your student loan check misdirected. Yeah, we still don't know how to use it. No, we're not really apologizing for that." For some reason, office ladies don't care if students get paid. P. thinks this is because they think "those kids can pay for college, what do they need a paycheck for?" The truth is, I can't pay for college, and I never could. I had scholarships and loans for undergrad, and now I get free tuition, but this is my only job, and my parents don't pay for me at all anymore. If I don't get paid to do it, that's all there is. They would probably get agitated if their paycheck turned up missing, but it never will - they work in payroll.