l'ordinateur est mort, vive l'ordinateur

My laptop's hard drive stopped working without warning in the middle of a conference about a week and a half ago. I think it is the hard drive, at least. I hope that's it, because F has an extra hard drive I can replace it with. If there's more going on than that.... I hope it's cheap.

I'm a big girl now

I started wanting to do things by myself fairly early. I was proud of being able to accomplish things independently, back when I was a tiny wisp of a thing and tying my shoes was a big deal. It seems like most kids have a stage like that (or they should!). But it also seems like many women go backwards in the process of growing up.

I keep inviting my friends to come out with me to eat dinner, have some adventures in town, or go to a party. The thing is, since I know people all over the city, they have to get there independently. Actually that's not the problem. Everyone is OK with taking a bus or train to wherever we're all going to meet up. But a lot of my lady friends balk at the trip home. "Wait, you're going to the north side afterward? How will I get back?" "Well, the train does run in both directions, 24 hours a day." "But... who will go with me? I can't ride the train by myself." This same conversation has happened at least once a month with different people since the weather got nicer and I started being out and about more.

Wait, you can't? Are you too short to put your fare card in the slot? Maybe a friendly station attendant will help you with that.

I know I shouldn't be down on my friends for being afraid to go outside at night. I actually feel pretty bad that they feel that way, because I would love to see them come out more. But the attitude is frustratingly widespread! It seems like half the women I know live under house arrest, unless some poor acquaintance can be roped into being their bodyguard for the trip home. It's not even rational, since it's extremely rare for a complete stranger to jump out of the bushes and sexually assault somebody. I'm assuming rape is what these ladies are worried about, because guys don't worry about this, and they're equally vulnerable to being mugged or beat up. It's got to be a gender-specific crime. But most of that is perpetrated by people the victims already know, so it really doesn't make sense to be afraid of being in public at night. At least not so afraid that it keeps you from going out!

I could understand things like staying in well-lit areas so people don't beat you up and steal your stuff. I could understand making sure not to fall asleep on the bus or train, keeping an eye on your backpack, and paying attention to where you are and who's around you. But... avoiding the outdoors after dark? It's overkill, and I think it's not worth the loss in quality-of-life. It's something I think society encourages women to do so they're constantly reminded that they're weak... except that they're actually not.